Tag: society

  • A taboo subject: sex workers from the same family

    A taboo subject: sex workers from the same family

    1978 movie Pretty Baby publicity still*  As Christmas is for family get-togethers, I occasionally ponder at this time of year, the place of sex workers within, or their relationships with, their families.  Lately I have been talking with a few sex workers who have other family members also in the industry. Even though there are…

  • Fifty Shades of Fucked Up*

    Fifty Shades of Fucked Up*

    NOT a scene from the film but these are the male and female leads.  *”Fifty Shades of Fucked Up” is how the character Christian Grey describes himself. I did not leave the cinema totally disappointed, I have sat through worse films than Fifty Shades of Grey.  This is a nice little film.  It is ok. …

  • Selling sex

    Selling sex

      It seems that a few sex workers I have spoken to get a bit funny about the bit where clients hand over the money, and I can’t for the life of me see why.  To me, it is one of the most exciting parts and it is what differentiates us sex workers from the…

  • Sex work, mental health and sex addiction

    Sex work, mental health and sex addiction

    From the show The Daring Young Man on the Flying Trapeze by Max Gimblett I found it interesting when a sex worker I am acquainted with wrote that her father, on finding out she was a sex worker, enquired as to how she was going to safe guard her soul.  He could just as easily have…

  • What it’s like to be the only one

    What it’s like to be the only one

    Stephanie Hunter – Australian Escort I’ve been in touch with a few escorts from Australia as well as one or two kiwi escorts now working over the ditch.  It seems that even though our laws are similar, that is, that penetrative oral sex must also be covered, in recent times, in Australia sex workers have…

  • Seduce me with song

    Seduce me with song

    The End of the Song by Edmund Leighton(1902) illustrates the story of Tristan and Iseult, a tragedy about the adulterous love between the Cornish knight Tristan (Tristram) and the Irish princess Iseult (Isolde, Yseult). There are so many secret nerves in the body, that it is impossible to keep track.  There is a nerve which…

  • Going down – is a man or a sex toy best?

    Going down – is a man or a sex toy best?

    The first time I saw this image on an ex-punter’s blog, I just about came on the spot.  For some reason, it really does it for me.  Mainly because I find oral, from this angle in particular (as opposed to from the downward approach during 69ing), the most pleasing thing ever, and if a man…

  • Does the G-Spot exist?

    Does the G-Spot exist?

    Meg Ryan from When Harry Met Sally This is just a short post because occasionally I hear people saying the g-spot is a load of old cobblers.  That may or may not be true as far as any anatomical identification goes in medical school.  Rumour has it that it is the secret internal spot on the…

  • Love Within Sex Work

    Love Within Sex Work

    I found this tweet the other day and it really resonated with me.  It’s because I feel exactly the same about my clients.  I really love those dudes!  A lot of the time I give my heart and soul to my clients, and get it back in spades. Which got me thinking.  Is this professional,…

  • Safe Sex (Work) for Sex Workers

    Safe Sex (Work) for Sex Workers

    I have to say we’re pretty darned lucky in countries like New Zealand where sex work is 100% legal because it means that if anyone tries to harm us, the cops are on our side. Absolutely fabulous situation, it means exactly that because there is the threat, of the long arm of the law who…

  • The virgin and the whore

    The virgin and the whore

    I know someone who decided to save her virginity until she got married, but eventually she became a crusty old unmarried thing rattling around with that dastardly virginity which she just could not lose, as potential husbands became thin on the ground, even with the glittering reward of her virginity on offer.  I, on the…

  • Politics and Working Girls

    Politics and Working Girls

    A working girl (in the other sense of the word or apparently the equal of*) Like all tales of politics, this could get long and boring.  Personally, I have spent my life being a tiny dot amongst big groups of people starting with my huge immediate and wider family and large church communities, various groups…

  • Why would you want to be a sex worker?

    Why would you want to be a sex worker?

    Veronica Veronese* by Dante Gabriel Rossetti painted in 1872 with Alexa Wilding as the model.  It is believed to represent “the artistic soul in the act of creation”. I’ve always liked new beginnings although of course generally they are nothing more than a mental reset. So the start of a new year is as good a…

  • Loving relationships: can a sex worker have it all?

    Loving relationships: can a sex worker have it all?

    “I loved you since I knew ya, I wouldn’t talk down to ya”…* I’ve known sex workers since I began working as a teenager who have been in long term relationships with people since before they were sex workers, as well as relationships which started while they were sex workers with their clients and with…

  • Dear Baby Hooker…

    Dear Baby Hooker…

    Congratulations!  You’ve recognised that you can put a value on something that there is a bit of a demand for and decided to become a sex worker.  Here are some things that I’ve gleaned over the years, or that I wish I’d known way back when. Once you’ve been a sex worker, you will always…

  • Are you old enough?

    Are you old enough?

    Still from the music video of Dragon’s Are You Old Enough?   The legal age to be a sex worker in New Zealand is 18 and most sex workers will not accept clients under 18.  According to my (light) investigations, there is actually no age restriction for sex workers’ clients other than the age restriction…

  • Fear of Fifty

    Fear of Fifty

    Flidais, my favourite Celtic Goddess, of a voracious sexual appetite Part of us wants to love like the goddesses — coldly and capriciously. Part of us owes allegiance to Kali, eating her lover and attaching his skull to her waist. Part of us wants to love like Juno, scooping up mortal men, toying with them, then…

  • Slightly kink – English

    Slightly kink – English

    English is not a term that is commonly used to describe caning and other parallel activities, but apparently it used to be and I feel it is quite obvious where that term came from, for anyone who prior to 1980 had any experience of English-style boarding schools, boys’ boarding schools that is. I went to…

  • Who’s that talking about you?

    Who’s that talking about you?

    Sharon O’Neill (right) who wrote the song Maxine with the actress who played her in the Australian version of the music video (which this image is taken from.) A few days after my Christmas day blog post about whether or not a sex worker should tell her family she is a sex worker, I had a long…

  • All hookers are crazy

    All hookers are crazy

    Like many sex workers, Brigid was a goddess of contradiction. I do believe that, to a degree, due to the nature of the job, all hookers are slightly crazy.  That’s because, among the many other crazy-making issues, the one that is the most anxiety-inducing of all is that no matter how open about what we…

  • Who are my clients?

    Who are my clients?

    Édouard Manet painting possibly representing clients and sex workers Some people are curious and I have been asked who my clients are. I suspect to make themselves feel better about their negative attitudes towards sex work and to feel removed from it as much as possible, some like to think of sex workers’ clients as…

  • Touring Roundup

    Touring Roundup

    The Canterbury Plains from the air I have recently completed a wee bit of touring and I thought I would post a few thoughts here. A number of you read my post where I mentioned an incident at a motel, and attention was brought to other incidents where touring working girls had left without paying…

  • The money, honey part 2

    The money, honey part 2

    Disclaimer: This lovely pile of dosh was not all earned by Amber O’Hara, neither is it indicative of an amount a “typical” sex worker could expect to earn on a daily basis in New Zealand   One skill that all working girls could consider getting would be the knowledge of how to keep a cash…

  • The money, honey part 1

    The money, honey part 1

      It’s not that hard to go legit as a hooker, so I thought I would share a few things that I have found in case any other working girls who read my blog are interested. The first thing is to remember that we are actually in a pretty fortunate position here in New Zealand,…

  • Et tu, Google+?

    Et tu, Google+?

    Amber O’Hara’s now banned Google Plus profile Gosh, it’s as if sex workers don’t have enough to juggle with, without now being overly-censored by the stuffy and the righteous on this vast wasteland of free porn, otherwise known as the Internet.  Oh well, Google+, (who are still hoping to become the new Facebook,) which I…

  • Favourite lingerie – part 4

    Favourite lingerie – part 4

    Channelling the good old-fashioned whore In a previous life, I like to think I would have worked in an old-fashioned bordello, like the lovely one in the film The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.  I just love the cheerful attitude toward customer service, and who can fail to adore the gorgeous Dolly Parton who played the…

  • Favourite lingerie – part 3

    Favourite lingerie – part 3

    Amber O’Hara: trying to give the impression she is innocent by wearing white As is obvious, I’m no virgin, and I’m not really interested in doing the schoolgirl fantasy for anyone or anything like that, but every now and then I get the urge to evoke an idea of purity, which white is good for,…

  • Then and Now

    Then and Now

    Back in the day, before the Prostitution Reform Act happened here in New Zealand, I was a sex worker for a time, and I have to say, things really have changed, and not just legally. Life was different then, in that soliciting was illegal.  From what my fellow sex workers and I understood, this meant…

  • Where to from here?

    Where to from here?

    So … I’ve decided to get back into sex work. Apart from a brief spell at Bon Ton in Wellington almost 3 years ago, I have not “worked” since before it was legalised.  Back then there was a host of things to worry about, namely arrest and public exposure in the court pages of the…