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Why would you want to be a sex worker?


Veronica Veronese* by Dante Gabriel Rossetti painted in 1872 with Alexa Wilding as the model.  It is believed to represent “the artistic soul in the act of creation”.

I’ve always liked new beginnings although of course generally they are nothing more than a mental reset. So the start of a new year is as good a time as any to make resolutions, and for some this could involve sex work, either as a service provider or a client.

I’ve discussed in a previous New Year’s Day post why a client could be considering seeing a sex worker and even how to go about making a decision of who to see.

But what could a decision process look like when a lady is considering escorting?

She was having so much sex for free with randoms and one day she had an epiphany that if she got a dollar for every guy she fucked, she could practically pay her uni fees.

I often ask sex workers the less judgmental version of the question “so what’s a nice girl like you doing in a job like this?”  In my version, I’m curious to know how and why they came to enter the sex industry. The stories are many and varied – including my own, when I entered the industry as a ship girl long before it was anywhere near legal.

One young lady told me that she was having so much sex for free with randoms and one day she had an epiphany that if she got a dollar for every guy she fucked, she could practically pay her university fees without relying on her family. That “dollar” actually became $200 per hour which meant she could also go to every country in the world she had always dreamed of.

Another mature lady entered the #sexindustry after a joking suggestion from her accountant.

A surprising number of ladies I know became sex workers while mature mothers or single women in their 40s returning to the job market after raising children or because they were being pressured into jobs they did not want to do by MSD; to deal with large debts and I even know two ladies who entered the industry at the suggestion of their husbands after a few years in the swinging scene. Another mature lady entered the sex industry after a joking suggestion from her accountant.

Often we are lead to events in our life that turn out to be good after less than ideal situations.

I know that some people would consider these reasons a little tragic, but often we are lead to events in our life that turn out to be good after less than ideal situations.

For example, the second time I got back into sex work as a mature lady, this was as a result of several personal events that had happened directly after the Christchurch earthquake of 2011.

Do I regret that? Sometimes I do. If things could have happened differently, that would have been preferable.

I did not become a full-time sex worker until late in 2013 but the series of things that made it possible for me to do it, or to even think about doing it, would not have happened (or maybe they would have?) if not for the string of unfortunate events starting February 22, 2011. It’s a long story.

Do I regret that? Sometimes I do. If things could have happened differently, that would have been preferable. However, as life panned out, I’m in quite a good position all around, and that is most definitely including financially. So I can’t really have any regrets. And it has been interesting most certainly.

Write down every reason you can think of to do #sexwork. You can even write them in two columns, under PROS (pardon the pun) and CONS.

Please don’t think I’m being negative or casting shade on the sex industry. Sometimes it is good to consider our motives though, and if you are considering being a sex worker, why is that?  Get a piece of paper and write down every reason you can think of to do sexwork.  You can even write them in two columns, under PROS (pardon the pun) and CONS.  Fold that piece of paper up and keep it somewhere safe for you to look at in future moments of pondering.

Be honest. Honesty never gives you “bad” reasons – they are just reasons and they may even seem sad. Life is like that for everything really.

If you were to become a #sexworker and I was to meet with you in a year and ask you how and why you got into #sexwork, what would you say?

* Image credit: By Dante Gabriel Rossetti (Delaware Art Museum), Public Domain, Link. The symbolism in the painting includes the uncaged bird, which may represent “the marriage of the voices of nature and the soul” and overt flower symbolism. The camomile in the bird cage may represent “energy in adversity,” the primroses youth, and the daffodils reflection.

Se penchant vivement, la Veronica jeta les premières notes sur la feuille vierge. Ensuite elle prit l’archet du violon pour réaliser son rêve; mais avant de décrocher l’instrument suspendu, elle resta quelques instants immobile en écoutant l’oiseau inspirateur, pendant que sa main gauche errait sur les cordes cherchant le motif suprême encore eloigné. C’était le mariage des voix de la nature et de l’âme—l’aube d’une création mystique. / Lettres de Girolamo Ridolfi

[Suddenly leaning forward, the Lady Veronica rapidly wrote the first notes on the virgin page. Then she took the bow of the violin to make her dream reality; but before commencing to play the instrument hanging from her hand, she remained quiet a few moments, listening to the inspiring bird, while her left hand strayed over the strings searching for the supreme melody, still elusive. It was the marriage of the voices of nature and the soul—the dawn of a mystic creation.]

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