I have met sex workers who have fallen in love with their clients and “ended up” together, so I guess the answer to the question, Do sex workers and clients fall in love? is yes.  Love can be euphoric and as sex work is about sex, elsewhere known as making love, encounters with sex workers can certainly be intoxicating, for both parties.

The answer to the question, Do sex workers and clients fall in love? is yes. Share on X

However, living “happily ever after” is not really what I am talking about while I write about love between sex workers and their clients.  It’s Valentine’s day, and all over the world, lovers are celebrating the day of love in their own way, so I thought blogging about sex workers and clients and love is sweetly topical.

I once had a client fall in love with me and buy me a plane ticket to Japan, which ended horribly, and I still feel guilty about it.  To be honest, I did not realise he was in love with me, because I was only young and it was the done thing in the sex work scene I was involved in for clients to buy their girls tickets to Japan, so that’s all I thought it was.  I got a hell of a fright when I arrived in Japan and proceeded to attend huge family dinner after huge family dinner with me, the overseas visitor, as the guest of honour, as flattering as that was.  Next thing I realised his mother was making wedding arrangements, and I cottoned on to what they all thought: that I was engaged to my client.  I tried to convey to his mother that while I enjoyed being with this sweet man, as far as I was concerned I was still single.

While I had not told her how we met and neither did I mention anything about sex for money, my assertion that we were only good friends when she correctly assumed we had been rooting like rabbits since I arrived was a little too much for her to bear and she was outraged. I was called an usotsuki or liar, had all my gifts returned to me as well as made to return every gift I had received which did not happen to include any diamond or other sorts of engagement rings and I was then turfed out on my ear to make my way to the airport and out of the country (luckily for me, at the time I could at least read many Japanese characters which helped a great deal, not that their map system was at all user-friendly having been successfully designed during the war to flummox and confuse, but thank God for their subway system, which was colour-coded and simple).  This great fall from grace and my subsequent shunning was surely indicative of the upset I had caused.  My poor client, whom I was quite fond of – I wasn’t allowed to see him again or even say sorry.

I came to realise that there was no such thing as a free plane ticket and I made sure to keep things clear about what my role was after that, while humbly receiving anything given with a client’s compliments.  But it can be a tough thing not to mislead when you feel a great deal of affection for a particular client, and also you enjoy the passion and the intimacy of sex with some clients (not all, obviously).

Of course some clients are special to me, some make me feel very horny, I’ve even been known to allow myself to occasionally enjoy the memory of our sexual encounter later by reliving it in the privacy of my bed (alone).  It’s just the type of girl I am.  But that is as far as it goes.  I would never encourage anyone to give up their relationship, family, job or anything else for me no matter how well we get on together and how much we like each other, for I am a sex worker.

no matter how sweet they are to me during tender moments, I am just their sex service provider Share on X

And that is lucky that I feel that way, because as much as we may enjoy each other, I also have to be clear in my mind, that no matter how sweet they are to me during tender moments, I am just their sex service provider, it’s irrelevant how enthusiastically I get involved with my job, and I should never expect to be more to them than that.  That’s not a sad thing, rather it is enormously freeing for all involved.

I like to think that generally I’m pretty skilled at understanding the needs of my clients.  It’s part of the enjoyment I get from my job.  But once, when someone texted me after our booking and asked how he could stop himself from falling in love with me, although it was obviously a rhetorical question and mere flattery (and incidentally I never saw him again) I gave this scenario a little bit of thought.  As strange as this may sound, particularly to other sex workers who approach their job more clinically, maybe my affections are OCCASIONALLY reciprocated because I do fall a little in love with some of my clients for the time I am with them.  Why wouldn’t I?  I meet some great men in this line of work, and I really am a woman whose body responds to men deliciously during sex, which can be quite pleasant, even rapturous.

Let me be the lucky one who enjoys him for that moment. Share on X

I want to feel every great sensation, what a gift, and loving feelings are part of that.  While this might seem unprofessional to some, I consider myself lucky that I can feel such affection and desire for some clients, but keep it within the bounds of the time that I am with him.  Some are abstaining from loving relationships and don’t have a woman in their lives who dresses for them, flirts with them and is playful in bed.  Others are loving husbands; unlike some sex workers, I love to hear a man talk with pride about his wife and kids and how happy they are together.  I just adore a man who is such a honey.  And to me, there is no irony with a happily married man who comes to see me, or for that matter a single man or any of the variations of relationship statuses in between.  Let me be the lucky one who enjoys him for that moment.

Love is all you need.  Does it really matter how it is delivered?  Happy Valentine’s Day.

Love is all you need. Does it really matter how it is delivered? Share on X