The Joy of Sex (Toys)

One of my favourite actresses, the late Anita Morris getting off on a mini vacuum cleaner from the film Ruthless People (a must-see if only for two of the great redhead stereotypes)

The other week when a lovely client was going down on me and I was focusing on the amazing sensation, it dawned on me that it actually felt a lot like the same type of orgasm I get from one of my favourite sex toys, the famous Hitachi Magic Wand (yes, he was that good.)  For those that don’t know, the Hitachi Magic Wand almost guarantees an orgasm and are the vibrator of choice as endorsed by Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross, who teach women the world over how to orgasm.  I believe that they used to and maybe still do give a Hitachi Magic Wand to every woman who pays to attend their courses to learn how to orgasm.

I once wrote a post comparing my clit pleaser to a man performing oral on me and concluded that while sex toys are good, there is nothing like the real thing.  I try not to use my sex toys too much, because I don’t want to become dependent on them and I would absolutely hate it if they became the only thing that could get me off.  Sometimes we sex workers see that with young clients who watch a lot of porn and masturbate quite a lot – they can’t come easily during sex, although this is not a problem if ejaculation isn’t necessarily their end-goal or they don’t mind ending the session with a hand job.

I of course am in the fortunate position, pardon the pun, of getting a lot of oral sex, which when done correctly, I enjoy immensely – that has to be the understatement of the year.  But the other day while I was enjoying being pampered by this particular gentleman, I considered that, with the many different sensations that feel good and get us off, is it logical that when someone is going down on us or when we are masturbating we are searching for that holy grail of familiar sensations depending on what kind of orgasm we are in the mood for (or we just gratefully accept the kind of orgasm we are given).  And when masturbating, obviously it can mimic participation by a real person, and a real person can mimic the same sensations of a familiar sex toy, when the dude happens to be amazing at it.

I have different toys I use which do different things to different parts of my anatomy.  For example, I like my Magic Wand because it is great for giving me an amazing clitoral orgasm which I can feel right down my legs, but is often too intense if I will be doing a bit of walking around shortly as my legs often feel too weak afterwards and it takes up to an hour for them to come right.  Another toy I have which is like a thin, curved penis is amazing for inserting and aiming for my g-spot when external stimulation, perhaps with my hand, of my clitoris has brought me to a certain point.  That is a different kind of orgasm again.  Some orgasms are so intense they can cause a headache.

There is a scene in the amazing film Nymphomania Part 2, which I highly recommend, where the lead character, a nymphomaniac, decides to prevent herself from having access to anything which can stimulate her sexually or turn her on.  All the sharp edges and corners in her house are covered so that she can not rub herself against them.  She goes to bed wearing great big clothes so that she can not have easy access to her body.  But then after unintentionally bringing her hand to her mouth, she sucks her fingers and begins getting off on a (sort of) hand blowjob. I also love to suck my fingers, maybe it harks back to being an infant looking for comfort (comfort being a milder form of pleasure).

Just about anything can be used as a sex toy.  I haven’t tried a mini vacuum cleaner myself, but humans are infinitely inventive when it comes to things which please us.  From the simple, such as jets in spa baths (yum) to the more complicated sex toys available today, I’m sure I’m not the only one who sometimes sees things and considers the possibilities of a pleasurable response.  Maybe this is how sex toys are developed – someone is using a sex toy and thinks, wouldn’t it be even more amazing if there was an extra cock for double penetration and another extra little jangly thing that could hit my clit?  There is such a job as a sex toy tester, what fun.

We all have different ways of doing things, there are techniques that have been perfected over the years by skilled people to improve almost everything, and three different people can have three completely different ways to get the same result.  For example, there are many ways to peel an apple, we all learn one way and usually keep doing it until we are perfect at it, if we care that much.  And so it is with men who know how to get women off.  The inventiveness, cleverness and instincts of men always surprise me.  I am not a sex toy tester, but I am often the recipient of the years of practice that some men have had of pleasing women.  Men have different ways of doing things, and I have to say, some dudes have their technique down pretty darn fine.

I do like sex toys, but my preference is always for the real thing.

One Response to The Joy of Sex (Toys)

  1. […] in the sense of having existed for some time – in which case, it’s great for a woman to take responsibility for causing her own orgasms, knowing what they are and how to get them, by herself if need be to start with.  Women still have […]

Please leave a comment