Tag: pleasure
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Is sex work a profitable business?
A diagram of Michael Porter’s Five Forces based on an image from Porter M. E., Competitive Advantage: Creating and Sustaining Superior Performance (New York: Free Press, 1985), page 5. I once had a lady come and visit me for the day in Christchurch from Wellington because she wanted to interview me to figure out whether…
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Not About The Heart Of Darkness; Whoring As A Profession At The End Of Capitalism*
This is a guest post by Christchurch escort Clio** the Whore. ‘You live in a fantasy’, says my client wistfully. He is lying on my bed in a state of post coital triste, having expounded to me his marital problems. He looks around him, at the beautiful room bathed in golden light with its fin…
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Love as community
Tiziano Vecellio, called Titian (b. Pieve di Cadore, ca. 1488-d. Venice, 1576), Venus Blindfolding Cupid, ca. 1565, Borghese Gallery, Rome A contemplation on Amber O’Hara’s What gets women off? and Love within Sex Work. Amber O’Hara proposes an interesting question in her two part series What gets women off? One guesses she explores this question…
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Ways to do sex work – part three (being a domme)
Dominique Stern, a character created by musician Gene Simmons What a mysterious world the provision of domination and fetish services is. It may be an area you’d consider exploring if you have an interest in certain kinks. Sometimes it’s a service that occasionally sex workers branch out into when they are wanting to go beyond…
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Ways to do sex work – part two (touring)
Beautiful Kaikoura on the east coast of the South Island, view from the beach during a brief train stop Touring sex workers are a not-so-modern phenomenon but since the Prostitution Reform Act (2003) in New Zealand we are able to tour and sell our services in a much more organised manner. I personally love to…
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Ways to do sex work – part one (cam work)
My occasional series about selling sex originally coincided (until my blog was rearranged) with the impending release of a film about cam models (ladies who interact with paying and non-paying internet customers via web cams). It is kind of like live porn, being largely user-directed and featuring a solitary actor (it is quite complicated to…
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Equal and Unequal Measures
by Clio the Whore A Tourist’s Guide to the BDSM World Status is a funny thing and not always what you think it is. Service to others comes in surprising forms. What looks like sheer selfishness can in fact be a pure act of love. Where there is pain, there can be pleasure, in equal…
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Is your New Year’s resolution to have more sex?
Image: Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise in Eyes Wide Shut In 1999, Stanley Kubrick released his last film, Eyes Wide Shut, which starred Kidman and Cruise, ‘a Hollywood couple whose marriage was in trouble, about a New York couple whose marriage was in trouble.’ It was famous for an orgy scene, but in the subtext of the…
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Sex and Skin Hunger
Image: J W Waterhouse The Awakening of Adonis (detail) Here is a guest post by a client talking about how sex workers have helped the issue of ‘skin hunger’ for him personally, following a discussion we had during our booking, which he has mentioned below. I invited him to contribute to my blog after this discussion…
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Sex and religion – twain meeting
I always find it funny how sex (work) and religion are such a taboo combination when, as I mentioned in a previous blog post, Jesus himself was friends with a hooker. As far as churches go though, I have never found anywhere that I fit in. Even when I wasn’t a sex worker. There was…
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Sucking and Licking
What do blow jobs have in common with Lobster Thermidor? We don’t get Lobster Thermidor at home much either. If you don’t get blow jobs much at home, as this well-known joke hints, you’re in luck, because most sex workers claim to love blow jobs, and in fact most quote the humble blow job as…
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Lady on lady sex work adventures
Golden Head by Golden Head, illustration by Dante Rossetti for Christina Rossetti’s Goblin Marketand Other Poems(1862) Golden head by golden head, Like two pigeons in one nest Folded in each other’s wings, They lay down in their curtained bed – Christina Rossetti in Goblin Market It’s not just men who enjoy sexy times with sex…
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Actresses on Mattresses
While sex workers can genuinely feel affection for some clients, there is usually an element of acting involved (as opposed to robotic and clinical sex work), whether it involves putting on a brave face when things are less than stellar in their private lives, or acting professionally pleasant when you just don’t feel like it…
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Must we mature sex workers still lie about our age?
A guest contributor on my blog last year wrote in favour of mature ladies, acknowledging the benefits of more experience and knowledge of the wonders of a woman’s sexuality. While agreeing with this, as an “enlightened” (or I could say mature) woman who now feels okay about being real about my age – and a…
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Is tantric sex desirable or even advisable with a sex worker?
It’s no secret that one of my favourite “types” of sex is the tantric kind: a kind of slow, meditative, close and not necessarily climactic linking of two people. It’s indulgent: like savouring every mouthful – flavour, texture and sensation – of your favourite kind of food or wine and thoughtfully appreciating it even once…
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Some men (who love their wives) visit escorts
Sometimes couples stay together because they really love each other and want to continue the personal investment they’ve made in their past and the family unit and home. The monogamous ideas that have been passed down through the ages means that couple are obliged to only make love with each other until the end of…
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Outsourcing of sex relations to a sex worker
Photo: Ever since I was a young girl, I have had a thing for lace. I love reading blogs about sex work and Maggie McNeill’s blog, the Honest Courtesan, is surely one of the best. One of my favourite posts is this one, A Whore in the Bedroom, which she wrote for ladies. It got…
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What do men like?
Johann Zoffany: (part of) The Tribuna of the Uffizi (feat. Titian: Venus of Urbino) Here is a controversial anti-feminist – or is it? – statement by Amber O’Hara: Men are the delicious other halves of our lives – the yang to our yin, the strong to our vulnerable (supposedly) and the penises to our vaginas (if we…
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In praise of quickies
The Persistence of Memory by Salvador Dali I have to say, I’m not much of a time-keeper in the room. I never schedule bookings back to back, it is very rare that there isn’t enough time in between bookings for me to have myself and my boudoir looking just how I want it to be.…
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A Bossy Girl Or a Dominatrix?
Remember when you were a kid and you’d see a loud-mouthed 12 year old girl getting about with a couple of 10 year old boys in tow hanging on to her every word, she’d be ordering them about, getting them to buy her gob-stoppers and generally acting like she owned the place? Well I wasn’t…
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Men’s fantasies – Other Woman Experience (OWE)
I’ve seen the OWE (other woman experience) happen a wee bit in my time doing sex work. Last year a working girl friend of mine had a year long (in his eyes it was an affair) series of bookings with a regular client who declared his undying love, promised exotic holidays which she turned down…
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Men’s fantasies – Girl Friend Experience (GFE)
Amber O’Hara’s mirror selfie in her boudoir Men who are single or whose partners are choosing to abstain from sex often have a desire or a fantasy for a more intimate and connecting sexual experience as if they were in the bed of a hot girlfriend who will not smack his hand or make him…
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Men love to look
How to hold the attention of men* There comes an interesting time in the lives of young women when we realise the effect that our body has on men. It could be when out of the corner of our eye, we see that male head is turned as we totter across the road in our…
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Is your heart safe?
La Belle Dame Sans Merci, painted by Sir Frank Francis Bernard Dicksee Can sex work involve real affection or is one or both parties just being played? I don’t consider whatever feelings I’ve ever had or that have ever been declared to me during sex work ‘true love’, whatever the fuck that is, but I…
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Cleanliness and godliness
The other day I was in a cafe and there was a young mother at the next table. She screwed up her nose a bit and said to her son, about 11 years old, “have you had a shower today?” He was quick to say yes, but I quickly glanced at his mother and she…
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Flirting and Squirting
My Nanna when she was alive was an incorrigible flirt. Even as she was dying in hospital, she was batting her eyelashes at and flirting with the male nurses, who were generous enough to humour her and play along. She used to say that every man deserves to be flirted with, that it’s good for…
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The Joy of Sex (Toys)
Gif: One of my favourite actresses, the late Anita Morris getting off on a mini vacuum cleaner from the film Ruthless People (a must-see if only for two of the great redhead stereotypes) The other week when a lovely client was going down on me and I was focusing on the amazing sensation, it dawned…
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Desire: The Secret
The Fisherman and the Syren by Frederic Leighton (1858) Sometimes when I start writing, if I have a theme or an idea I want to think about, I search online for the single word or phrase. I did this with desire only to discover that there are many self-help books out there around spirituality, in particular…
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Fantasies about men
Still from music video: It’s Raining Men, by the Weather Girls When I’m not doing sex work full-time, I actually miss fucking, and as a result of this, my imagination works overtime. I occasionally work in an office, answering the phone: “Good morning, (Company Name). (My real name) speaking” and generally being a real little…
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What gets women off (part two)
Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there was a epidemic of sexual dissatisfaction called Hysteria. Women all over the place were getting it, the symptoms were vast and doctors were treating it by massaging the clitorises of their patients. This method of treatment would result in what was then known as a paroxysm,…