Tag: family

  • Is sex work a profitable business?

    Is sex work a profitable business?

    A diagram of Michael Porter’s Five Forces based on an image from Porter M. E., Competitive Advantage: Creating and Sustaining Superior Performance (New York: Free Press, 1985), page 5. I once had a lady come and visit me for the day in Christchurch from Wellington because she wanted to interview me to figure out whether…

  • Is your New Year’s resolution to have more sex?

    Is your New Year’s resolution to have more sex?

    Image: Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise in Eyes Wide Shut In 1999, Stanley Kubrick released his last film, Eyes Wide Shut, which starred Kidman and Cruise, ‘a Hollywood couple whose marriage was in trouble, about a New York couple whose marriage was in trouble.’  It was famous for an orgy scene, but in the subtext of the…

  • Sex and Skin Hunger

    Sex and Skin Hunger

    Image: J W Waterhouse The Awakening of Adonis (detail) Here is a guest post by a client talking about how sex workers have helped the issue of ‘skin hunger’ for him personally, following a discussion we had during our booking, which he has mentioned below.  I invited him to contribute to my blog after this discussion…

  • Outsourcing of sex relations to a sex worker

    Outsourcing of sex relations to a sex worker

    Photo: Ever since I was a young girl, I have had a thing for lace. I love reading blogs about sex work and Maggie McNeill’s blog, the Honest Courtesan, is surely one of the best.  One of my favourite posts is this one, A Whore in the Bedroom, which she wrote for ladies.  It got…

  • Men’s fantasies – Other Woman Experience (OWE)

    Men’s fantasies – Other Woman Experience (OWE)

    I’ve seen the OWE (other woman experience) happen a wee bit in my time doing sex work.  Last year a working girl friend of mine had a year long (in his eyes it was an affair) series of bookings with a regular client who declared his undying love, promised exotic holidays which she turned down…

  • What to do if you bump into your sex worker in public

    What to do if you bump into your sex worker in public

    Image: Bob Hoskins and Cathy Tyson from the film, Mona Lisa (1986) We all need to get out and about in the world to buy stuff and whatever, and sometimes we are with our families, work colleagues, friends or partners when a sex worker bumps into one of her clients. So what is the correct…

  • Flirting and Squirting

    Flirting and Squirting

    My Nanna when she was alive was an incorrigible flirt.  Even as she was dying in hospital, she was batting her eyelashes at and flirting with the male nurses, who were generous enough to humour her and play along.  She used to say that every man deserves to be flirted with, that it’s good for…

  • Fantasies about men

    Fantasies about men

    Still from music video: It’s Raining Men, by the Weather Girls When I’m not doing sex work full-time, I actually miss fucking, and as a result of this, my imagination works overtime. I occasionally work in an office, answering the phone: “Good morning, (Company Name).  (My real name) speaking” and generally being a real little…

  • I can’t make you love me

    I can’t make you love me

    It is probably safe to assume that most of society, even those who pride themselves on thinking progressively, in their heart of hearts, looks down on sex workers, but are mostly too polite to say so to our faces.  In the media, society’s attitude toward sex work is reflected often, even in the supposedly more…

  • So, you are the black sheep of the family…

    So, you are the black sheep of the family…

    Christmas is the time of year when we are confronted by where we came from – most of us, while not necessarily being physically present with our family members, at least make contact with them – and the realities of who they are (and maybe what they have always been like) becomes glaringly apparent. Families…

  • The pleasures of non-sex work

    The pleasures of non-sex work

    I often write about how much I love sex work, and one of the reasons I love it as a lifestyle is because it gives me so much time to get involved with various projects as non-Amber. Since I began sex working again, I learned a lot about publishing on Amazon kindle by guinea-pigging myself…

  • Can his family affect a man’s confidence in bed?

    Can his family affect a man’s confidence in bed?

    Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny de Vito, two quite sexy dudes, played test-tube brothers in the film Twins* My usual Christmas blog posts have something related to families since this is the season to be with our kin or if not, due to distance or some other factor, at least give our thoughts to them for…

  • Forced conversations when you’ve been outed

    Forced conversations when you’ve been outed

    Cyber bullying comes in many forms, from the relatively mild (but still harmful) tweet-bombing, Facebook posting, harassment on online forums etc, to the most dreaded extreme for sex workers – being publicly outed and/or lied about as a sex worker on websites set up to humiliate.  When this happens, and sex workers have to deal with…

  • Sex Workers’ Supporters: Please take a bow

    Sex Workers’ Supporters: Please take a bow

    Sex work: sometimes it really is fields of daisies and buttercups.  Painting by John William Waterhouse. Frequently during discussions about sex work, the subject is raised of bitches and bitchiness among sex workers.  Perhaps images of girls pillow fighting while wearing skimpy underwear is tantilising, and often there are suggested scenarios of “professional jealousy” causing…

  • A taboo subject: sex workers from the same family

    A taboo subject: sex workers from the same family

    1978 movie Pretty Baby publicity still*  As Christmas is for family get-togethers, I occasionally ponder at this time of year, the place of sex workers within, or their relationships with, their families.  Lately I have been talking with a few sex workers who have other family members also in the industry. Even though there are…

  • Is Christmas the right time to tell your family you are a sex worker?

    Is Christmas the right time to tell your family you are a sex worker?

    So, you’ve been holding on to a big secret about being a sex worker on the side, you’re over it, and you suddenly feel the urge to confess all to your family, and what better time than when your entire family has come together to celebrate the birth of Christ? Like ripping off a band-aid,…

  • OUT!

    OUT!

    The Scream by Edvard Munch One thing sex workers seem to fear most is being outed, or an aspect of their lives being outed, and interestingly it is probably the most well-used threat some sex workers make against others. However, quite often sex workers let things slip, for example by their lifestyles or in conversations…

  • The virgin and the whore

    The virgin and the whore

    I know someone who decided to save her virginity until she got married, but eventually she became a crusty old unmarried thing rattling around with that dastardly virginity which she just could not lose, as potential husbands became thin on the ground, even with the glittering reward of her virginity on offer.  I, on the…

  • Loving relationships: can a sex worker have it all?

    Loving relationships: can a sex worker have it all?

    “I loved you since I knew ya, I wouldn’t talk down to ya”…* I’ve known sex workers since I began working as a teenager who have been in long term relationships with people since before they were sex workers, as well as relationships which started while they were sex workers with their clients and with…

  • Who’s that talking about you?

    Who’s that talking about you?

    Sharon O’Neill (right) who wrote the song Maxine with the actress who played her in the Australian version of the music video (which this image is taken from.) A few days after my Christmas day blog post about whether or not a sex worker should tell her family she is a sex worker, I had a long…

  • All hookers are crazy

    All hookers are crazy

    Like many sex workers, Brigid was a goddess of contradiction. I do believe that, to a degree, due to the nature of the job, all hookers are slightly crazy.  That’s because, among the many other crazy-making issues, the one that is the most anxiety-inducing of all is that no matter how open about what we…

  • Indiscretions

    Indiscretions

    My first week of advertising in the Press has been and gone and I have to say, I have loved every orgasmic and almost orgasmic moment this week. My phone hasn’t rung off the hook, not even with cranks during the school holidays, but that could be because kids are more likely to bother escorts…

  • Step Four – arranging photos

    Step Four – arranging photos

    The next step was arranging the photographer.  I found an experienced photographer online who came to my premises and took some photos.  Although I have already had some test shots taken by friends, the photographer I hired had an amazing camera and lights which has made all the difference.  I did not want to pose…