I’ve lost count of the number of people who have told me in the last year, since I upped my sexual activity by getting back into sex work, how young I look. I’m not just talking about clients either, who sometimes express surprise when I reveal my real age, (which I am happy to do by the way), while the deliberately vague “40s” stays in my advertising to protect my anonymity. Also in my “straight” life, which is the corner of my life where my non-sex working friends and family are kept, I frequently receive comments about how well I seem to be keeping, or how I don’t look a day over 35, or how good my skin is etc. And often these comments are followed by the question, “so what is your secret?”
When this is asked of me, I often suck a bit of air between my teeth, before starting with “Well actually…” and depending on who asked the question, a variety of answers are given. More often than not though, I am happy to look the person in the eye and calmly reply “orgasms”. Sometimes I am then faced with embarrassed titters, or a loud belly-laugh, as if I was joking, and sometimes I am even met with knowing glances in return, and occasionally, I even get a request for more information.
Of course women of a certain age, are commonly flattered about how youthful we look, and this is probably not always truthful, maybe it’s a mere compliment designed to make our day. I’m happy to take that though, I love a sweet person who is trying to make the world a better place, one positive action or word at a time.
A beautiful girlfriend of mine (not a sex worker) told me she often looks at her long-time partner across a room somewhere and still finds him breath-takingly hot. I kind of know where that leads. It’s obvious she has a satisfying love-life. It’s not for me to pry, but when she told me how her partner still does it for her, my imagination gave me such a delicious mental picture that my own tendencies to get off on voyuerism had to be consciously assigned to a more appropriate moment.
So, could orgasms be the cause of a spring in our step and a renewed enthusiasm for life which reflects in our faces? Actually, even the most expensive beauty treatments probably can not replicate the inner glow that a sexually satisfied woman naturally exudes – you can spot a woman who has wasted her or her husband’s money on essential vanity treatments but she is still the same woman behind the facade and possibly only putting out on Tuesdays when and if the stars happen to be aligned in a certain formation, as if sex is a privilege to be doled out to a man only if he deserves it because of a belief that sex is without much benefit to the woman in question.
Yet there are so many benefits to be had. Maybe orgasms could even be the magic elixir that saves mature relationships, and I mean mature in the sense of having existed for some time – in which case, it’s great for a woman to take responsibility for causing her own orgasms, knowing what they are and how to get them, by herself if need be to start with. Women still have fantasies about men and hot sex, I know they do, why do we not let ourselves go there?
I’m sure orgasms are a cure for all sorts of maladies and issues, not that I’m a doctor. I wonder if the idea, that women own the sex in our relationships and because men supposedly get more open pleasure than women occasionally do that we can then withhold it somehow to punish or control, is really a rod for our own back. Maybe an active and happy and fulfilling sex life with mutual orgasms and lots of them is the cure of a lot of mania and suspicion and negativity between couples, as well as an easy and affordable anti-aging and beauty treatment as I theorised above.
I do have a doctor friend that I have enjoyed discussing the subject of sex and orgasms with in the past, and he may or may not agree with my theories. We were recently discussing male orgasms and issues around that – for example, did you know that there is a common thing that some sex workers unknowingly do which ruins a man’s orgasm? There is even a physiological reason for this particular orgasm-stopper. But that’s another blog post. Email me.