Ways to do sex work – part three (being a domme)

Ways to do sex work – part three (being a domme)

Dominique Stern, a character created by musician Gene Simmons What a mysterious world the provision of domination and fetish services is.  It may be an area you’d consider exploring if you have an interest in certain kinks.  Sometimes it’s a service that occasionally sex workers branch out into when they are wanting to go beyond…

Actresses on Mattresses

Actresses on Mattresses

While sex workers can genuinely feel affection for some clients, there is usually an element of acting involved (as opposed to robotic and clinical sex work), whether it involves putting on a brave face when things are less than stellar in their private lives, or acting professionally pleasant when you just don’t feel like it…

Is your heart safe?

Is your heart safe?

La Belle Dame Sans Merci, painted by Sir Frank Francis Bernard Dicksee Can sex work involve real affection or is one or both parties just being played? I don’t consider whatever feelings I’ve ever had or that have ever been declared to me during sex work ‘true love’, whatever the fuck that is, but I…

Pleasure

Pleasure

Poor is the man* Whose pleasures depend On the permission of another From Justify My Love by Madonna © 2006 WMG Pleasure, according to a book I have been reading about women and aging, is something women deny themselves far more than is good for us.  Apparently there is something that is released in our…

Ways to do sex work – part two (touring)

Ways to do sex work – part two (touring)

Beautiful Kaikoura on the east coast of the South Island, view from the beach during a brief train stop Touring sex workers are a not-so-modern phenomenon but since the Prostitution Reform Act (2003) in New Zealand we are able to tour and sell our services in a much more organised manner. I personally love to…

Exit: Stage Left

Exit: Stage Left

There comes a time in a sex worker’s life when, despite the lovely harem of men who are her willing clients, she sometimes thinks that she has had enough of fucking for money.  It may not be a feeling that comes on suddenly, like an epiphany, instead it may be a slowly evolving feeling of…

Fifty Shades of Fucked Up*

Fifty Shades of Fucked Up*

NOT a scene from the film but these are the male and female leads.  *”Fifty Shades of Fucked Up” is how the character Christian Grey describes himself. I did not leave the cinema totally disappointed, I have sat through worse films than Fifty Shades of Grey.  This is a nice little film.  It is ok. …

Sex Workers’ Supporters: Please take a bow

Sex Workers’ Supporters: Please take a bow

Sex work: sometimes it really is fields of daisies and buttercups.  Painting by John William Waterhouse. Frequently during discussions about sex work, the subject is raised of bitches and bitchiness among sex workers.  Perhaps images of girls pillow fighting while wearing skimpy underwear is tantilising, and often there are suggested scenarios of “professional jealousy” causing…

Loving relationships: can a sex worker have it all?

Loving relationships: can a sex worker have it all?

“I loved you since I knew ya, I wouldn’t talk down to ya”…* I’ve known sex workers since I began working as a teenager who have been in long term relationships with people since before they were sex workers, as well as relationships which started while they were sex workers with their clients and with…

Must we mature sex workers still lie about our age?

Must we mature sex workers still lie about our age?

A guest contributor on my blog last year wrote in favour of mature ladies, acknowledging the benefits of more experience and knowledge of the wonders of a woman’s sexuality. While agreeing with this, as an “enlightened” (or I could say mature) woman who now feels okay about being real about my age – and a…

Ways to do sex work – part one (cam work)

Ways to do sex work – part one (cam work)

My new occasional series about selling sex happily coincides with the impending release of a film about cam models (ladies who interact with paying and non-paying internet customers via web cams). It is kind of like live porn, being largely user-directed and featuring a solitary actor (it is quite complicated to do it with more…

Sex work, mental health and sex addiction

Sex work, mental health and sex addiction

From the show The Daring Young Man on the Flying Trapeze by Max Gimblett I found it interesting when a sex worker I am acquainted with wrote that her father, on finding out she was a sex worker, enquired as to how she was going to safe guard her soul.  He could just as easily have…

Is your New Year’s resolution to have more sex?

Is your New Year’s resolution to have more sex?

Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise in Eyes Wide Shut In 1999, Stanley Kubrick released his last film, Eyes Wide Shut, which starred Kidman and Cruise, ‘a Hollywood couple whose marriage was in trouble, about a New York couple whose marriage was in trouble.’  It was famous for an orgy scene, but in the subtext of the film,…

Sex and Skin Hunger

Sex and Skin Hunger

J W Waterhouse The Awakening of Adonis (detail) Here is a guest post by a client talking about how sex workers have helped the issue of ‘skin hunger’ for him personally, following a discussion we had during our booking, which he has mentioned below.  I invited him to contribute to my blog after this discussion as…

Advice from a Client

Advice from a Client

Les Nymphes et le Satyre by William Bouguereau. 1873, Clark Art Institute, Williamstown, Massachusetts. I welcome contributions from readers and clients, and while the contributor below has never been to see me, I gather he has chalked up quite a bit of experience seeing working ladies in his time.  Over to him: I have been…

Fear of Fifty

Fear of Fifty

Flidais, my favourite Celtic Goddess, of a voracious sexual appetite Part of us wants to love like the goddesses — coldly and capriciously. Part of us owes allegiance to Kali, eating her lover and attaching his skull to her waist. Part of us wants to love like Juno, scooping up mortal men, toying with them, then…