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Who’s that talking about you?

Who’s that talking about you?

Sharon O’Neill (right) who wrote the song Maxine with the actress who played her in the Australian version of the music video (which this image is taken from.) A few days after my Christmas day blog post about whether or not a sex worker should tell her family she is a sex worker, I had a long…

Why would you want to be a sex worker?

Why would you want to be a sex worker?

Veronica Veronese* by Dante Gabriel Rossetti painted in 1872 with Alexa Wilding as the model.  It is believed to represent “the artistic soul in the act of creation”. I’ve always liked new beginnings although of course generally they are nothing more than a mental reset. So the start of a new year is as good a…

What a Way to Make a Living

What a Way to Make a Living

Hylas and the Nymphs is a 1896 oil painting by John William Waterhouse. So I’m well and truly back into sex work, although with later hours than I have ever worked due to other things I am doing in my life – so I am truly a “lady of the night”. This has brought with…

Is Christmas the right time to tell your family you are a sex worker?

Is Christmas the right time to tell your family you are a sex worker?

So, you’ve been holding on to a big secret about being a sex worker on the side, you’re over it, and you suddenly feel the urge to confess all to your family, and what better time than when your entire family has come together to celebrate the birth of Christ? Like ripping off a band-aid,…

Sublime Pleasure – how long is a piece of string?

Sublime Pleasure – how long is a piece of string?

Amore e Psiche by François-Édouard Picot (Painted 1817, Paris)* “How many times did you come?” is a question that many men wonder or even ask ladies after they have ascertained that their partner did actually orgasm while they had sex.  However, orgasm for women is often not that cut and dried. I’ve been curious about…

Fond Farewells

Fond Farewells

This is a final blog post, by my friend, Clio the ex-whore, also recently retired. Retirement only sort of suits me. Only a couple of weeks ago an ex colleague and I were reminiscing over a few cocktails. We don’t miss it, we said, isn’t great to have a straight job and be proper respectable…

Can his family affect a man’s confidence in bed?

Can his family affect a man’s confidence in bed?

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny de Vito, two quite sexy dudes, played test-tube brothers in the film Twins* My usual Christmas blog posts have something related to families since this is the season to be with our kin or if not, due to distance or some other factor, at least give our thoughts to them for…

Desire: The Secret

Desire: The Secret

The Fisherman and the Syren by Frederic Leighton (1858) Sometimes when I start writing, if I have a theme or an idea I want to think about, I search online for the single word or phrase. I did this with desire only to discover that there are many self-help books out there around spirituality, in particular…

I can’t make you love me

I can’t make you love me

It is probably safe to assume that most of society, even those who pride themselves on thinking progressively, in their heart of hearts, looks down on sex workers, but are mostly too polite to say so to our faces.  In the media, society’s attitude toward sex work is reflected often, even in the supposedly more…

Forced conversations when you’ve been outed

Forced conversations when you’ve been outed

Cyber bullying comes in many forms, from the relatively mild (but still harmful) tweet-bombing, Facebook posting, harassment on online forums etc, to the most dreaded extreme for sex workers – being publicly outed and/or lied about as a sex worker on websites set up to humiliate.  When this happens, and sex workers have to deal with…

Lurking and Peering and the Culture of Complaint

Lurking and Peering and the Culture of Complaint

The day I visited my friend and fellow sex worker, Clio, at her house*, I was wearing my (non-sex worker-like) day clothes of jeans and a plain, dark woollen top and carrying a large, black art portfolio, as I was visiting to show Clio some sketches from a creative project I started at university. As…

Are you old enough?

Are you old enough?

Still from the music video of Dragon’s Are You Old Enough? The legal age to be a sex worker in New Zealand is 18 and most sex workers will not accept clients under 18.  According to my (light) investigations, there is actually no age restriction for sex workers’ clients other than the age restriction for…

What gets women off (part two)

What gets women off (part two)

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there was a epidemic of sexual dissatisfaction called Hysteria.  Women all over the place were getting it, the symptoms were vast and doctors were treating it by massaging the clitorises of their patients.  This method of treatment would result in what was then known as a paroxysm,…

A taboo subject: sex workers from the same family

A taboo subject: sex workers from the same family

1978 movie Pretty Baby publicity still*  As Christmas is for family get-togethers, I occasionally ponder at this time of year, the place of sex workers within, or their relationships with, their families.  Lately I have been talking with a few sex workers who have other family members also in the industry. Even though there are…

What gets women off (part one)

What gets women off (part one)

It’s been widely concluded that it’s harder for women to get aroused than men, and that it takes longer. That some women lose interest in sex. That some women have a lower libido overall than most men. The thing is with (straight) men, a glimpse of bosom or derrière seems to be able to do…

Exit: Stage Left

Exit: Stage Left

There comes a time in a sex worker’s life when, despite the lovely harem of men who are her willing clients, she sometimes thinks that she has had enough of fucking for money.  It may not be a feeling that comes on suddenly, like an epiphany, instead it may be a slowly evolving feeling of…