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Author Archives: Amber O'Hara

I can’t make you love me

I can’t make you love me

It is probably safe to assume that most of society, even those who pride themselves on thinking progressively, in their heart of hearts, looks down on sex workers, but are mostly too polite to say so to our faces.  In the media, society’s attitude toward sex work is reflected often, even in the supposedly moreContinue Reading

Forced conversations when you’ve been outed

Forced conversations when you’ve been outed

Cyber bullying comes in many forms, from the relatively mild (but still harmful) tweet-bombing, Facebook posting, harassment on online forums etc, to the most dreaded extreme for sex workers – being publicly outed and/or lied about as a sex worker on websites set up to humiliate.  When this happens, and sex workers have to deal withContinue Reading

Lurking and Peering and the Culture of Complaint

Lurking and Peering and the Culture of Complaint

The day I visited my friend and fellow sex worker, Clio, at her house*, I was wearing my (non-sex worker-like) day clothes of jeans and a plain, dark woollen top and carrying a large, black art portfolio, as I was visiting to show Clio some sketches from a creative project I started at university. AsContinue Reading

Love Within Sex Work

Love Within Sex Work

A tweet from Australian escort, Gabrielle I found this tweet the other day and it really resonated with me.  It’s because I feel exactly the same about my clients.  I really love those dudes!  A lot of the time I give my heart and soul to my clients, and get it back in spades. WhichContinue Reading

Are you old enough?

Are you old enough?

Still from the music video of Dragon’s Are You Old Enough? The legal age to be a sex worker in New Zealand is 18 and most sex workers will not accept clients under 18.  According to my (light) investigations, there is actually no age restriction for sex workers’ clients other than the age restriction forContinue Reading

What gets women off (part two)

What gets women off (part two)

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there was a epidemic of sexual dissatisfaction called Hysteria.  Women all over the place were getting it, the symptoms were vast and doctors were treating it by massaging the clitorises of their patients.  This method of treatment would result in what was then known as a paroxysm,Continue Reading

A taboo subject: sex workers from the same family

A taboo subject: sex workers from the same family

1978 movie Pretty Baby publicity still*  As Christmas is for family get-togethers, I occasionally ponder at this time of year, the place of sex workers within, or their relationships with, their families.  Lately I have been talking with a few sex workers who have other family members also in the industry. Even though there areContinue Reading

What gets women off (part one)

What gets women off (part one)

It’s been widely concluded that it’s harder for women to get aroused than men, and that it takes longer. That some women lose interest in sex. That some women have a lower libido overall than most men. The thing is with (straight) men, a glimpse of bosom or derrière seems to be able to doContinue Reading

Exit: Stage Left

Exit: Stage Left

There comes a time in a sex worker’s life when, despite the lovely harem of men who are her willing clients, she sometimes thinks that she has had enough of fucking for money.  It may not be a feeling that comes on suddenly, like an epiphany, instead it may be a slowly evolving feeling ofContinue Reading

Fifty Shades of Fucked Up*

Fifty Shades of Fucked Up*

NOT a scene from the film but these are the male and female leads.  *”Fifty Shades of Fucked Up” is how the character Christian Grey describes himself. I did not leave the cinema totally disappointed, I have sat through worse films than Fifty Shades of Grey.  This is a nice little film.  It is ok. Continue Reading