Fond Farewells

Fond Farewells

This is a final blog post, by my friend, Clio the ex-whore, also recently retired. Retirement only sort of suits me. Only a couple of weeks ago an ex colleague and I were reminiscing over a few cocktails. We don’t miss it, we said, isn’t great to have a straight job and be proper respectable…

Can his family affect a man’s confidence in bed?

Can his family affect a man’s confidence in bed?

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny de Vito, two quite sexy dudes, played test-tube brothers in the film Twins* My usual Christmas blog posts have something related to families since this is the season to be with our kin or if not, due to distance or some other factor, at least give our thoughts to them for…

Desire: The Secret

Desire: The Secret

The Fisherman and the Syren by Frederic Leighton (1858) Sometimes when I start writing, if I have a theme or an idea I want to think about, I search online for the single word or phrase. I did this with desire only to discover that there are many self-help books out there around spirituality, in particular…

Equal and Unequal Measures

Equal and Unequal Measures

by Clio the Whore A Tourist’s Guide to the BDSM World Status is a funny thing and not always what you think it is. Service to others comes in surprising forms. What looks like sheer selfishness can in fact be a pure act of love. Where there is pain, there can be pleasure, in equal…

I can’t make you love me

I can’t make you love me

It is probably safe to assume that most of society, even those who pride themselves on thinking progressively, in their heart of hearts, looks down on sex workers, but are mostly too polite to say so to our faces.  In the media, society’s attitude toward sex work is reflected often, even in the supposedly more…

So, you also like to write?

So, you also like to write?

The cover of my new title on Amazon Kindle I’m not surprised by the number of creative and intelligent women I have known from the very start who happen to be sex workers and even today many of us sex workers in this category seem to be finding our way to each other. Whether it…

To Network or Not to Network

To Network or Not to Network

It can be lonely being a sex worker yet I’ve met a few ladies who prefer to stay away from any socialising online or in real life and keep to themselves. They don’t want any dramas despite the benefits that can be had from meeting and greeting with other working girls or clients. I can…

Sex workers and websites: if you build it will they come?

Sex workers and websites: if you build it will they come?

Although many sex workers are getting websites built for them or DIYing it with free sites like WIX or blogs, I have heard many saying they don’t know what to do with them (“now what?”) or how to get clients (“traffic”) to go to them. So I’ve been picking the brains of one or two…

The pleasures of non-sex work

The pleasures of non-sex work

I often write about how much I love sex work, and one of the reasons I love it as a lifestyle is because it gives me so much time to get involved with various projects as non-Amber. Last year I learned a lot about publishing on Amazon kindle by guinea-pigging myself as an author and…

Sex Workers Starting With Why

Sex Workers Starting With Why

Why do sex workers do what they do? I’ve been enjoying the fabulous book Start With Why by Simon Sinek after a recommendation by someone I respect a lot and who has had an amazing career in their (creative) field. In fact I listened to the audio book and loved it so much that I’m…

Forced conversations when you’ve been outed

Forced conversations when you’ve been outed

Cyber bullying comes in many forms, from the relatively mild (but still harmful) tweet-bombing, Facebook posting, harassment on online forums etc, to the most dreaded extreme for sex workers – being publicly outed and/or lied about as a sex worker on websites set up to humiliate.  When this happens, and sex workers have to deal with…

Love as community – a contemplation

Love as community – a contemplation

Tiziano Vecellio, called Titian (b. Pieve di Cadore, ca. 1488-d. Venice, 1576), Venus Blindfolding Cupid, ca. 1565, Borghese Gallery, Rome A contemplation on Amber O’Hara’s What gets women off? and Love within Sex Work. Amber O’Hara proposes an interesting question in her two part series What gets women off? One guesses she explores this question…

Welcome to my new website!

Welcome to my new website!

My first R18 splash page Welcome to my website!  Remember when most new websites had that on them?  I remember attending a course for a company I worked for and the instructor specifically said it was a no-no.  “We don’t write Welcome to our Brochure on our flyers do we?” However, rules were made to…

Lurking and Peering and the Culture of Complaint

Lurking and Peering and the Culture of Complaint

The day I visited my friend and fellow sex worker, Clio, at her house*, I was wearing my (non-sex worker-like) day clothes of jeans and a plain, dark woollen top and carrying a large, black art portfolio, as I was visiting to show Clio some sketches from a creative project I started at university. As…

Love Within Sex Work

Love Within Sex Work

A tweet from Australian escort, Gabrielle I found this tweet the other day and it really resonated with me.  It’s because I feel exactly the same about my clients.  I really love those dudes!  A lot of the time I give my heart and soul to my clients, and get it back in spades. Which…

Not About The Heart Of Darkness; Whoring As A Profession At The End Of Capitalism*

Not About The Heart Of Darkness; Whoring As A Profession At The End Of Capitalism*

This is a guest post by Christchurch escort Clio the Whore. ‘You live in a fantasy’, says my client wistfully. He is lying on my bed in a state of post coital triste, having expounded to me his marital problems. He looks around him, at the beautiful room bathed in golden light with its fin…